On "Overcoming" Trauma
Detail of Waxing Crescent Transmutation print
In my last blog entry, I wrote about the wisdom available in the feeling of being devoured. This entry is a continuation of that thread as I respond to prompts from thegirlgod.com including: How do you overcome trauma with Goddess help?
"Waxing Crescent Transmutation” is part of a series of mandala prints that are a visual representation of my physical and spiritual journey, a journey that has drawn on Goddess to help me every step of the way. I start by making intuitive paintings with free application of water media. Then, I digitize the abstract watercolors and further alter shapes with software that allows me to experiment with radial symmetry, light filters, and more. After this digital composition phase, I once again return to hand painting by transferring the image to watercolor paper and painting the digitally composed piece. The entire process is extremely self-referential and meditative in nature. It is metaphorically symbolic in its cyclical arrival into a yin or Goddess consciousness/container.
Each mandala is a tangible artifact from my journey--a special art piece that invites the viewer to enjoy the therapeutic benefits of the unique expressions that I bring to this world.
My process allows me to lean into the metaphorical symbolism of the Divine Feminine or Goddess. What I mean by this is that I participate in a painting ritual that aligns itself with the allowing and receiving of the cast out underbelly of our human nature. That which has been cast as “weak” is actually wholeness--it is the unknown and the wild aspects of the human illusion we call life. Goddess guides me to release the patriarchal lens that informs the definition of “overcome” and this place of release is where I am finding myself as I ask for help from Goddess. Goddess supports trauma resolution by helping me remember that my body holds wisdom rather than blame, shame, and guilt as I have been taught by our patriarchal culture. With symbolic mark making that arrives with intuition and within this cyclical process, I reference and acknowledge the womb-like container that is a body inside an energetic field. I am grounded in my personal experience and remind myself that I can choose to sink into the body’s wisdom as it shakes, pulsates, undulates, and ultimately guides me to allow my breath and movements to exist and be revered. I look for opportunities to allow my body’s sensations to give me crucial information on how to support and care for myself, which naturally leads to a presence that becomes universal love. Patriarchy perpetuates trauma in the way that it also has the potential to bring me back to Goddess and thus, Oneness. When patriarchy reinforces my separation from the body, Goddess continually offers me a container. Patriarchy seems to destroy and deny that container, but like a series of nesting dolls, it only finds that it is contained by (or contains) something larger (or smaller) than itself once again. My adherence to Goddess as guide helps me receive and expand within my container. Goddess teaches authentically while patriarchy deludes intentionally. My human mission and purpose is to remember the true teacher and wake up from the delusion. I can author a way of being that is aligned with Goddess as healer in the spaces where I have assumed false dominance--dissolve that delusion--listen and receive the support that is already there instead of striving to individually contrive a system built on false narratives. In this way, I find wisdom in the feeling of being devoured. This is a powerful tool in healing or “overcoming” trauma.
